Posted October 01, 2015
People smell, and that’s not so out-of-the ordinary. And neither is chronic, day-to-day misery. What’s unusual is when people – either smelly people or miserable people – actually make an effort to do something about it.
In an email to HR Products’ headquarters, Heather A. explains
how much she hates her life:
“Things at my work are going to hell in a hand basket. The only
thing keeping me sane is the sprays. My co-worker says that that I look like a
‘huffer’ when she catches me in my office sniffing all the room sprays.”
“She doesn’t smell,” says Heidi Rettig, CEO of antibadmoodsprays.com. “At least I don’t think so, because we’ve never actually met, but her life is obviously completely miserable because she bought all four of my mood-lifting sprays.
Heather A. bought a bottle of Apathy™ and then ordered the other three scents just hours after receiving her first delivery.
“Okay. I’m hooked. I hate you. I just got my box delivered, and now I’m ordering again. I’m spraying this sh*t on me and everyone that comes in my office. And my home. Ahhh … now I can function. Thank you for making my life bearable.”
How does HR Products feel about that? Heidi Rettig replies, “We love Heather.”
Why did I develop a set of anti-bad mood sprays? Not just for you. Not just for your office or your home.
I did it because when I arrived at my office this morning, one of the building tenants had parked in the driveway entrance to the parking lot. And left his car there for 45 minutes so no one could get in or out of the office garage. Which meant I had to find a spot on the street and then, when he finally left, drop what I was doing and move my car again. The fact that he thought he could do that without worrying about the rest of the building's schedule? That's why I developed
Blended with aromatherapy essential oils to calm me down. Which is good. Because sniffing herbal room sprays is so much more acceptable than letting the air out of his tires.Or whatever I would have said if I'd run into him in the hallway.Fresh orange. Maybe I can pretend I'm somewhere else. Like an citrus grove in Florida. Instead of this old, smelly, office building where I don't even get to use the parking spot that I PAY FOR.